Massage raakt ook je kind

Ik las haar artikel ‘Debunking the myths of massage in pregnancy’, en wist dat ik deze vrouw moest spreken. Dat leidde tot een prachtig gesprek voor de Pregnancy & Bodywork Podcast, waaruit het beeld naar voren komt van een wijze, aardse vrouw, met oog voor detail. Spiritueel zonder zweverig te worden. Daar houd ik van.

Suzanne Yates is de oprichter van Wellmother in Bristol (UK). Hier leert ze ouders om zich voor te bereiden op de bevalling en het ouderschap. Ook leidt ze al jaren lichaamswerkers, vroedvrouwen en doula’s op in het lichaamsgericht ondersteunen van vrouwen.

Suzanne schreef een boek over massage en lichaamswerk tijdens zwangerschap, bevalling en de postpartumperiode en dat is waar ons gesprek dan ook mee begint. De eerste zin van het boek luidt namelijk: ‘Working with pregnant women is not simply about adapting normal bodywork techniques as there is a particular ‘energetics’ of pregnancy’. Dat moet ze natuurlijk even uitleggen.

‘Als we de moeder aanraken’ zegt Suzanne, ‘raken we ook het kind dat in haar groeit aan. Dat is iets waar we voortdurend rekening mee moeten houden. Bovendien verandert het hele lichaam om dit nieuwe leven te laten groeien. Alles verandert, op een fysiek tastbaar niveau, maar ook op hormonaal en emotioneel niveau. Vanaf het moment dat een vrouw zwanger is, is ze moeder. Of haar kind nu een week, of 50 of 100 jaar leeft. Dat is een grote verandering.’

Bij shiatsu imiteren we de moeder

‘De basis van mijn werk ligt in shiatsu, maar ik ben ook geschoold in massage en combineer die twee. Een belangrijke shiatsumeester zegt treffend: ‘Bij shiatsu imiteren we de moeder.’ Want wat doet de moeder als de baby nog in haar buik zit? Ze houdt haar kind vast en raakt het aan via haar baarmoeder. Onze tastzin is het eerste zintuig wat we ontwikkelen, en speelt daarom zo’n belangrijke rol in ons leven. Veel van onze herinneringen liggen opgeslagen in onze weefsels en door aanraking kun je die herinnering naar boven halen en transformeren. Veel van deze herinneringen zijn onbewust, we kunnen er niet over praten. We kunnen het alleen doorvoelen. Op die manier werk je op een heel ander niveau dan bijvoorbeeld psychotherapie.’

Shiatsu werkt op alle verschillende lagen die we als mens hebben en Suzanne neemt ons mee in een aantal van haar ervaringen:

‘Ik heb vrouwen ondersteund die letterlijk met een emmer in de hand binnenkwamen en aangaven dat ze met geen mogelijkheid een uur door zouden komen zonder over te geven. En na dat uur voelden ze zich zo goed dat ze zelfs zin hadden om iets te eten.

Of vrouwen die door alle hormonale veranderingen zo in de war zijn en in tranen binnenkomen. Aanraking helpt hen om hun emoties een plek te geven en te transformeren.’

Shiatsu wordt op een mat op de grond gegeven. ‘Voor zwangere vrouwen is het heel fijn, ‘ zegt Suzanne, ‘want op de vloer hebben ze meer ruimte dan op een tafel. Er gaat ook iets aards vanuit, wat goed bij zwangerschap past. Als therapeut ben je fysiek dichterbij dan wanneer je op een tafel werkt, en dat spreekt dan weer tot het oergevoel van begrenzing door de baarmoeder. De moeder geeft haar baby steun en begrenzing, wij ondersteunen de moeder.’
‘Ook postnataal werk ik op de grond. Dan is het vooral fijn dat de baby er op een veilige manier bij kan blijven liggen. Zo kan de moeder zelfs blijven voeden tijdens de massage.’

Omarm het hele moederschap

Natuurlijk spreken we ook over de mythes rondom zwangerschapsmassage. Suzanne: ‘Ik ben verbaasd dat zoveel mensen denken dat je zwangere vrouwen kunt masseren zonder je bezig te houden met de baby! Je brengt de vrouw weer in verbinding met zichzelf, maar ook met haar kind. Sommige vrouwen vinden het niet fijn als je hun buik aanraakt, maar de meesten wel. Ons doel is ten alle tijden om de moeder te ondersteunen om contact te maken met de baby.’

In dat opzicht is massage tijdens het eerste trimester ook zo belangrijk, als de band zich vaak nog moet vormen en je zulke grote veranderingen ondergaat. ‘Je bent vermoeid en emotioneel, en fysiek gebeurt er zo veel! En dat willen we meestal nog niet met de buitenwereld delen. Dat kan heel zwaar zijn, vooral als het niet goed gaat. En dat gaat het lang niet altijd. Het is belangrijk dat we het hele moederschap omarmen, ook wanneer er uiteindelijk geen kind geboren wordt. Eén van mijn cliënten heeft 7 miskramen gehad. Dat is veel. Terugkijkend op deze periode voelt ze dat iedere zwangerschap haar meer heeft voorbereid op het moederschap van het kind wat uiteindelijk wél geboren werd. Dat soort ervaringen horen ook bij het leven, en vrouwen moeten juist dan steun en ruimte krijgen.’

Rolmodel voor de partners

Zwangerschap gaat natuurlijk niet alleen de vrouw aan, maar ook de partner. Suzanne doet er veel aan om ook hen te betrekken bij het proces. Indirect door de rol van de partner te bespreken met de vrouwen, maar ook door partners aan te moedigen om zo nu en dan mee te komen naar een sessie. Vaak zitten ze dan gewoon aan de kant mee te kijken, soms leert Suzanne ze technieken om zich met de baby te verbinden of om de spanning in nek en schouders van hun vrouw te verlagen. ‘Dat is zo fijn, want dan hebben ze iets tastbaars waar ze altijd weer op terug kunnen vallen.’

De partners hebben daar zeker ook tijdens de bevalling en in de kraamperiode iets aan. Ze zien hoe Suzanne hun vrouw aanmoedigt om te doen wat goed voor haar voelt. In zekere zin is ze voor hen een rolmodel. ‘De moeder moet zich te allen tijde veilig en geborgen voelen. Ik moedig haar aan om van positie te veranderen als dat nodig is. En als het voor haar het beste is om over een bal te hangen, dan is dat hoe ik met haar werk. Het is zo belangrijk dat ze zich realiseert dat ze zelf de expert op het gebied van haar eigen lichaam is! Ik ben er voor haar als steun in haar zoektocht naar hoe haar lichaam werkt. Dat is van groot belang voor de bevalling. Leren luisteren naar je lichaam en weten hoe jij je het beste ontspant. Ademhaling, beweging, een bepaalde positie, muziek, je partner… er zijn zoveel dingen die haar kunnen helpen ontspannen. Een belangrijk onderdeel van verbinden met je lichaam is om dat te ontdekken en te onderzoeken. Dat is wat we doen met lichaamswerk.’

Suzanne heeft een supersimpele oefening om vandaag al meer verbinding met je baby te voelen:

De Baby Breath Hug

Zit en sluit als je dat fijn vindt je ogen. Begin met een langzame uitademing en richt je aandacht op je baby. Laat je ademhaling langzamer worden zonder het te forceren. Leg je handen op je buik, en voel even waar ze het lekkerst liggen. Dat kan net boven je pubis zijn, boven je navel, of misschien geeft je baby wel aan waar je je handen moet leggen. Als je uitademt dan voel je heel aandachtig hoe je buikspieren samentrekken, alsof je je baby een knuffel geeft. Op je inademing voel je hoe je buikspieren naar buiten komen, waarmee je je baby wat meer ruimte geeft. Een langzame ademhaling kalmeert het zenuwstelsel, en met deze oefening verbind je je via aanraking ook nog met je baby.

Je kunt deze oefening ook samen doen. Je partner zit dan achter je en legt de handen op je buik.

Dit artikel is een bewerking van het interview wat ik had met Suzanne Yates voor de Pregnancy & Bodywork Podcast. Heb je zin gekregen om de hele podcast te beluisteren? Ga dan even naar SpotifySoundcloud of de iTunes store.

Je leest meer over Suzanne en haar werk op www.wellmother.org. Een website vol heerlijke artikelen en een overzicht van haar online trainingen.

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hoi, ik ben loes

"Thaise massage vormde de start van het avontuur wat me vanuit mijn hoofd naar mijn lijf bracht, en als resultaat daarvan ervaar ik meer levenslust dan ooit tevoren."

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Weg met zwangerschaps­klachten

Voor mij markeerden de lessen in Thaise zwangerschapsmassage van Noam Tyroler het beginpunt van mijn huidige werk met zwangere vrouwen en hun partners. Mijn eigen fascinatie gaat vooral over de transformatiekracht die zwangerschap in zich draagt. Over de kansen die het biedt voor de zwangere vrouw om laag voor laag haar maskers af te leggen